Are you ever tired in the morning? Do you ever wonder if there’s a simple and healthful way to never die? Well, it’s time to meet the solution to all your problems (even how far your apartment is from the subway): a weird-colored smoothie—now in Mason jars!
People will see your purple-gray drink and ask, “What is that?” Most likely, they’ll mean, “That doesn’t look like food and I’m concerned for you.” But the joke is on them because now they’re trapped! Prepare to list all thirty-two ingredients that you blended into your weird-colored smoothie. Next, tell them why you selected each ingredient! Our market research suggests that people love lists.